the C word that is that is trying to ruin my life

A bit too dramatic of a title?  I’m not so sure.  This post is going to be vulnerable and honest – as I hope all of my posts are.  This one is current though – something I’m still very much walking, wading, and crawling through.

the C word that is trying to ruin my life

Sin.  It’s real and it’s ugly.  Something most of us are aware of by now.  Even those who aren’t believers in Christ have heard the word and know it has a negative connotation. I speak of it often when talking to Ryleigh.  We talk about sin, the choices we make, and how the only way to be forgiven of those is through Jesus Christ.  I get it.  I could do more than 10 different posts on sin and how bad it is and how it’s only through God’s incredible grace & mercy that we can be washed clean.

However.  Maybe I don’t.

Get it, that is.

Because friends, my heart is calloused. Hardened to my own sin. Oh, don’t you worry – I can see it in others faster than anyone else – but my sin?  I can admit to anyone it’s there, of that much I’m confident – but as far as wanting it gone?  To be forgiven? To go through repentance?  Apparently, I haven’t had much time for all that.

This past week, the Lord has been been (oh so GRACIOUSLY) speaking to me and revealing it to me.  I have no idea why He is bothering after so much time has passed but the only thing I can figure out is because He loves me THAT much.  Ha. Not that I deserve it, that I am all too plainly seeing as the days pass and the list of unconfessed sin grows, but He does.  Nevertheless.

I have grown complacent.

ugh.  the word puts a bad taste in my mouth.  although, I fear that I have put an all too worse taste in His mouth as of late.  He even talks about that in Revelation 3:16.

I have approached Him casually and therefore approached His word casually and even more so approached my sin so incredibly disgustingly casually.  I have grown complacent.  Complacent in my walk, in my time with Him, in my day, in my work, in my service, in my relationships…complacent.

Wouldn’t you know it, we’re in the Lenten season.  The Lord has been using His word to chip away at my heart and mindset a little more everyday.  He’s used friends text messages to speak Truth into my heart – like this one from Friday…

God wanted to protect them from attitudes of casual worship or complacent preparation.  When we treat worship casually, that attitude spreads.  We may soon find we are treating His words casually.  Perhaps our prayer life becomes complacent.  We must separate ourselves from that type of sin.  Confession stops complacency from spreading.  A single, heartfelt prayer of repentance sends a fragrant offering up to our read-to-forgive God.

I’ve been studying through Exodus since January and the cleansing that the priests went through in that time was no small task.  Reading it has made me remember the greatness and holiness of the God that I am able to approach on a daily, moment-by-moment basis.

In Sunday School, this past Sunday – we were reading about the unrepentant cities in Matthew and got on a conversation about sackcloth & ashes.  Why did people do that?  Because they were mournful over their sins.  They grieved their sin.  Oh Lord, when is the last time I grieved over my sin?  Mourned over how it hurt Christ, went against the God who has loved me so extravagantly?  When?  WHEN?!?!

Acts 3:19 “Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.”

Repent and Return.

It’s two fold.  If I repent (turn away) from the sin and turn towards something else – then I’m still trapped.  I’m still living complacently when it comes to Christ.  However, if I repent and return to my First Love – then…then that’s when it changes.

Isn’t it interesting how the word He gave me this year was worship?  Worship.  How can I live a life of worship if I am approaching Him casually?  Worship is praise and adoration for the One who is Holy.  It is an overflow of the heart and lately my heart has been calloused with unconfessed sin.  Confession leads to worship.  How could it not?

Confessing the sin that occurs daily in my life, reminds me just how unworthy I am – not to keep me in a state of despair, but rather to show me just how amazing His forgiveness and love is.  When I can see myself in a truthful light, then I am able to begin to see just Who He is – and when that happens?  My heart is humbled, my knees are bowed, my hands are lifted, and my voice rejoicescomplacency doesn’t stand a chance.

Where are you at today?  Are you a child of the King? Do you have sin that you need to bring before Him?  Come.  Come just as you are.

 For His Glory,

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About Nickolee

child of the One True God, wife to the love of my life, mom of 2 gorgeous gals, and humbled to walk daily in His incredible grace
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One Response to the C word that is that is trying to ruin my life

  1. Ellen Rogers says:

    So very, very awesome. Thank you for these heart stirring words.

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