what I prayed for (and how it still took me by surprise)

the decision I prayed for...that I wasn't quite ready forI can remember feeling you move inside of me and praying for you even then. Praying that one day when you were old enough that you would follow His calling to be His child.29525_538138255078_7269831_nI can remember rocking you in the early hours of the morning – your skin unbelievably soft against mine…a stark contrast to the piercing crying that let everyone know sleep was not in the foreseeable future. I prayed for you to sleep, but I also whispered prayers for your salvation. I asked the Lord for you to accept Him from the first time He knocked on your heart.166517_549940717848_3604723_nI can remember you being a toddler, banging on our small green Malagasy drum and singing as loud as you could about His Joy down deep in your heart. It was sweltering, everything was covered in dirt, and yet your smile was contagious (as it still is) and I prayed. Oh, how I prayed for you to fall deeply in love with the Lord and for Him to use you to glorify Himself.553812_657731703848_969230214_nI can remember when your baby sister was born and you had almost 2 months of time with your Lhi Lhi & were around people who only spoke English. I watched you act out Bible stories and start making up songs about spaghetti noodles, blueberries, slides, and Jesus. And sweet girl…I prayed. I prayed as we went on walks, as we played on the playground, and as we shared frozen yogurt with gummy bears. I asked the Lord to prepare your heart to fall in love with Him alone.1521961_773398641378_1913747987_nI can remember last summer when you experienced VBS for the first time and the 4 year old theology that came with it.  You would cry about us leaving you at church but then you’d cry to stay when we came to pick you up.    I prayed anointed one.  I prayed that as you grew you’d keep asking questions and that you would seek after Truth.  I wept over your compassionate heart when asking about if everyone you loved would go to heaven.  I sought wisdom that could only come from Him to answer your seemingly endless questions.10153036_944264235358_5905629333959954131_nI remember the past 5 months, when at least once a week you would bring up the topic of being a Christian.  Sometimes through your favorite song, or when you saw us take part in The Lord’s Supper, or just in the daily ordinary – you’d mention that you believed in Jesus, that you were a Christian, or even that you knew you’d go to heaven.  We never discouraged you but we would start asking you questions and most of the time we’d end up talking about the rock you found outside or would it be okay for us to dye your hair purple.  So, of course, I just kept praying.12366081_989811618038_4104971507574348811_oI remember last Sunday night, laying in your bed and us reading about Noah and how sin had separated the rest of the world from God.  You sat straight up and with fear in your eyes you exclaimed, “Momma! I don’t want to be separated from God!”  I told you, like I had countless times before, that we are separated until we ask for His forgiveness, believe in His Son – that He died and was raised 3 days later – and acknowledge Him as Lord…then we can never ever be separated again.12496150_10100110187495788_8184609014746944740_oI remember you saying that you wanted to tell God all of the things you believe.
I remember you saying you were ready to not just believe in God but to trust in Him too.
I remember calling your daddy to come sit with us in your room.
I remember the look that your daddy & I gave one another as you said you wanted to pray by yourself and then as you asked us to pray after you.
I remember how it all felt so ordinary yet so incredibly life changing.  The Glory that was in that moment, in your bedroom was tangible.
I remember when you called your Aunt Alanna and she asked you if you had just gotten saved…as in just that night.  You quickly explained that “No! I am saved forever and all the days after…not just tonight!”IMG_4700 I went to bed not having fully processed all that had occurred.  It seems so simple, yet I know it’s the most crucial decision you will ever make.  It is one that all other choices will come back to and prayerfully center around.  You will learn so much more than you know right now but learning more doesn’t change how solid this child like faith is.  Growing and stretching into this New Life you’ve been given will come with heartaches and struggles but you will be equipped by the Love that is now in you.
IMG_4698I remember and I pray that even tiny pieces of that night will forever be in your memories too.  I hope that the video we made will help you remember your child like faith when you are older and the memories dim.  I pray that you will be assured of your salvation in the years to come by the Fruit that He is producing in you.IMG_4697Baby girl, I’m still praying.  We are entering brand new territory.  Disciple making.  But it’s really not so new after all is it?  It’s a calling that goes all the way back to when the Fisherman called the fisherman. And that’s another post for another day.

Always praying for you & believing that everything will indeed be glorifying to our (I love saying that!) Father!!

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About Nickolee

child of the One True God, wife to the love of my life, mom of 2 gorgeous gals, and humbled to walk daily in His incredible grace
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2 Responses to what I prayed for (and how it still took me by surprise)

  1. Tina says:

    The best feeling in the world, isn’t it Nickolee…when your child gives her life to the Lord. So proud of you and your little family.

  2. Lhi Lhi says:

    Ryleigh, thank you for coming with me to the nursing home and so willing sharing your testimony with those there. So proud in the Lord of how you quoted the ten (folo) commandments!

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