I Wanna Go To ‘Evan

i wanna go to evanShe wanted to know how old she’d be before she went to heaven.

She asked if me or her daddy would go to heaven first…which then led to the statement that she wanted to be in heaven first because she didn’t want to live in our house by herself.

Big gulps of air were being swallowed in the front seat by yours truly.

How do I begin to have this conversation?  How do I talk about something that’s hard for me to wrap my own head around?

I started with reminding her of what His word says…that we do not know the day or hour that Jesus will return and that only He knows the number of our own days.

Soooooooo, it could be tomorrow?

Sure sweetheart, it could be…we truly don’t know when.

Excitement turned to tears rapidly.  But momma…what about Lyllian?  If Jesus comes tomorrow, and she’s not saved…will we go to heaven without her? I don’t want to go to heaven without my sister!

That sweet 2 year old little sister was listening a bit more than we had realized because suddenly she pipes in with a “I wanna go too momma! I wanna go to evan!!”.

I silently prayed for wisdom, I didn’t want to rush in with words that would make everyone feel better – because I have learned that Truth doesn’t always feel good.

I told my 5 year old evangelist that whenever Jesus does come back there will be people who do not go to heaven.  People who have chosen not to follow Christ.  People we’ve never met and people we love dearly.  And Lyllian…well, with my voice breaking I told her that just like her daddy & me couldn’t save her ourselves, we can’t save Lyllian either.  That the choice to be a follower of Christ would be hers when He calls her to Himself.

We talked about how I pray daily for Lyllian to fall in love with Jesus from the very first moment He prompts her – just as I prayed daily for her back before she had even been born.  We talked about the day a few months ago when she followed God’s call on her life and how no matter what she would spend eternity in heaven.

It amazes me the questions and thought processes that tumble out of that brain some days.  I wonder if when I was 5 did I care so much about others’ salvation…or how about at 25?  Walking each day with the realization of eternity changes everything doesn’t it?For His Glory,


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About Nickolee

child of the One True God, wife to the love of my life, mom of 2 gorgeous gals, and humbled to walk daily in His incredible grace
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