Just as an unexpected Saturday nap was about to happen, my door slowly crept open…
“Ummm, can you help me with daddy’s birthday card?”
“When I wake up.”
She crawls into bed next to me.
“But look momma, I can just sit here and make it beside you while you sleep. That way I’m all ready when you wake up”
“Okay, Ryles, let’s just do it now. What cha want to do?”
The conversation continued until something was said and it caused me to remark, “Wow. You are definitely my daughter!” Without missing a beat even as those little hands were coloring away, she said, “Not anymore momma. I’m the Lord’s daughter. And no one can ever ever ever take that away from me.”
She stopped me in my missing-my-nap-sleep-deprived-state and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
There’s no way that compassionate, emotional, talkative little girl could truly ever deny her roots. She talks as much as I do and her baby pictures are a total match for her daddy. My mom has told me how she’ll say something just like Steve and my Nanna has told me how she sounds like me. She’s ours. But, she’s also right. We’ve known since before she was born that she was His. That we were/are entrusted with her for a certain time but now…as a born again believer of Jesus Christ – she knows she is His.
As her innocent statement has rolled around in my heart for a few days, I’ve started thinking about as she gets older, who she’ll remind us more of – me or her daddy. When people (who know me or Steve) meet her, will they know she’s ours? How much will she look or sound like us? I’ve wondered if I even want her to…if I really want to know the answer to that.
Perhaps, she hit the nail on the head without even trying to do it. Our prayer has always been that she exemplifies Him. So, really isn’t our desire that when she speaks, does a dance, sings a song, or makes a decision that she sounds or looks like Him?!?
The hard part of all this is when we really think about how she will know what He looks like and sounds like…she learns by watching us. She sees when we stop to help someone on the side of the road or when we keep driving. She hears when we speak nicely to strangers and choose sarcasm over encouragement in our homes. She learns when we prioritize screen time over family time. She figures it out when she sees us on our phones more than in the Word. She learns by watching us.
If our desire is for our children to look like Him, then we should also desire to look like Him. I have often found myself praying for my children about an area that I need to be praying for myself. We can not talk of His commands when we sit, walk, lie down, and rise up – if we don’t know the commands ourselves!
I am honored to be Ryleigh & Lyllian’s momma, and I truly pray that they exemplify Christ before they ever look or act like me. I deeply desire that even when they think they are doing something because “that’s how their momma did it”, that it actually is simply a reflection of Christ. I plead with Him for victory over self. I beg Him to purify me and to truly hide me so that my girls may only see Him. Just typing that makes me stop to pray, repent, and ask for wisdom…it seems so out of reach – but I know that it’s not. He promises us over and over that He gives more grace, that His strength is made perfect in our weakness, and that He is our portion. So, I’m going to give it a go. I’m going to do each and everything as I am working for Him. For His Glory. I can think of no greater accomplishment in life than to glorify Him with every moment of it.