It’s a trap that I can wrap myself so tightly in, I feel claustrophobic. I convince myself that I’m good enough…strong enough to carry this gigantic responsibility that I have given to myself to please the Lord; yet it always ends up pinning me to the floor.
Jesus says that He came to give us abundant life. Abundant, free flowing, more than enough, grace overflowing, love overpowering…life.
When I’m figuratively (or literally as sometimes the case may be) pinned to the floor – suffocating under the shame and weight of not being enough…how is that life giving?
He has been whispering for such a long time for me to give this burden to Him. He says so plainly for me to take His yoke for His burden is light. Honestly? There are days when that makes no sense to me. The responsibility I place on myself sits so heavily on my chest it’s hard to breathe…to have the answers for the questions people ask and the ones I imagine they might ask…the check list of all that needs to be done physically or spiritually before I can allow myself to rest.
good grief i can be so stubborn.
who am i? who am i to think that i could possibly ever get any of that accomplished – much less all of it? who am i to think that it could somehow tip the scales of the Almighty God in my favor. who am i? prideful and selfish would probably be a good start.
but Glory Hallelujah it’s not about who i am…but Who He is.
He is eternally in favor of His children. He loves me with an all consuming love. There is nothing that I can do (or fail to do as the case usually is) that can change that. He tells me that absolutely nothing can separate me from Him. He explains perfectly how we are to be His disciples…
deny myself – my agenda, my to do list, my crazy thought patterns
take up my cross daily – anything I consider sufferings, trials, etc
there’s no hidden steps in those directions. no secret list of accomplishments that has to be met before deemed worthy. nothing other than death of myself and Life through Him.
doing enough isn’t an option. I can’t “do enough” because He has already done enough. He did it all. He lived the perfect life. He obeyed His Father without flaw. He was sacrificed so that I could be clean. He has done enough. He alone is enough.